Randumb608

It is a commonly-held belief that a person who is really enthusiastic and dedicated to proving their worth(AKA The Ideal Employee/Friend/Lover/Priest/Neighbor/Etc.) would also be likely to have a handshake to match, like they're just so full of energy and a will to take charge that their very sense of muscle control has been rewired to suit their goals, hence a string grip and hard shake.

Conversely, a person who just holds their hand out limply and more "allows" it to be shaken is seen as passive, uncaring, uncooperative, listless, insecure, or just out-and-out lazy.

The one who grips your hand like a vice and pumps it is the guy that will bring your company to the top, make you climax every time in the sack, give it their all at the next big game, or will save your life without hesitation if you're in a jam.

The one who just lifelessly holds their hand out to be shook and probably doesn't even try to bend their fingers or go for a soft-grip is the guy who will goof off and come into work high/hung over, probably can't even be bothered to give you oral, choke up or get into a fight and/or quit right in the middle of the championship game, and will probably run screaming like a bitch and leaving you behind when those gang bangers are stomping your face into the curb.


It's probably pretty much all bullshit, bit it is still easy to understand the line of thinking which lead to "hand-breaking handshake with a crowd-pleasing grin=good" and "clammy dead fish-hand that flops uselessly and grunts a reply=bad".

Of course, since society has taught men that they can only feel validated by "succeeding" at every endeavor like it's some kind of race or sporting event, handshakes are often a type of subconscious public dick-measuring contest between two guys, with some men taking handshakes EXTREMELY seriously(see that episode of King of The Hill, where Hank's entire faith in the Republican party is shattered-and his life subsequently launched into a crumbling downward spiral-because he found George W. Bush's handshake to be "limp") and others just going along with it because the other guy is making him look like a lackluster pussy with his hyperactive bullshit.


For what it's worth, I'm a dead-fisher. My hands are soft because I don't do a lot of manual labor(most of my energy is put into more artistic endeavors) and I simply find it tedious and pointless to play "I have a stronger grip" with Mr. Overzealous Football Coach all day long. I'm also lazy as fuck, so maybe there is a connection after all. Hmm... It's certainly interesting.

Either way, though, I wouldn't lose sleep over it.